Katz Claws To First Place Finish in NJ Championships!
Alexander Katz, no relation to the animal of the same name just spelled via C, won the New Jersey State under 1900 championship. Katz, a long time ICA attendee, dominated his competition with the ferocity of a jungle jaguar, or tiger. Alex also has two brothers, Nicholas, and Josh who attend the school. I assume he has given them an achievement to shoot for, and more then likely, because of the trophy, turned a few heads and made some people, like myself, extremely jealous.
When asked what he would do to celebrate in our made up exclusive interview, Alex said, “I’m starting a petition to get “Cats” the musical back on Broadway.” After he was informed that it was only possible if he were a billionaire with friends in showbiz, he decided instead that he would visit Disneyland. Of course last I checked Mr. Disney didn’t have any cat-based characters over there, but according to reports he did have mice.
Spitz Steals 2nd in New York; Vows To Donate $400 Dollars In Prize Money
To Obama Campaign!
Sebastian Spitz, a none-relative of the famous Olympian named Mark, took second place at the New York state under 1200 championship. Sebastian, a hardcore fanatic of Illinois senator Barack Obama, a t-shirt of whom, he wore weekly to our camp, vowed to help the democratic nominee get in the white house. Once again speaking in a completely made up interview for the ICA website, Sebastian stated, “the money has already been sent to the Democratic nominee’s campaign headquarters,” before adding, “that should teach you to support John McCain Slava you crazy animal.” He then kicked me in the shin and walked away. At that point I went home and cried.
Congratulations to Sebastian, and to Senator Obama for having such a loyal chess playing young fan.